hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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