butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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