She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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