Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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