If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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