Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
