i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
