i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
