That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
