He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
