last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
