Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
