remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize