You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
