A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
