were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
