Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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