Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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