i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
