and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
