don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
