once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i now understand why vodka
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
