watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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