so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
