Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry

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(352): View more from Florida

She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit

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(706): View more from Georgia

Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?

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(+69): View more from

You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.

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(469): View more from Texas

I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

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(206): View more from Washington

If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.

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