Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
