you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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