jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I intend to get homeless drunk
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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