Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
