Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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