i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
