I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
