so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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