Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
