To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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