playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
