if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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