these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize