i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
