Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
