I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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