Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
