im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
