I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
