My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she told me i tasted like america
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
