i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
