Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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