you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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