If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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