They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
