Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize