he wants to bone in the snuggie
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This is my gift to your gina
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
