i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
