I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
