I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
