I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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