I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
